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Hi. This is a 20 y/o and I've not idea if she's happy or not. Please see picture (not that there is spider mite, i think)

She has green stems and many brown stems. She flourishes and then the leaves brown and fall like 2 weeks later. There is now what I think is spider mite.

I dont know what to do.

The lighting isnt ideal for her type but I'm giving her the best I can and keeping her in the coolest part of the apartment.

Watering every 3 days - I pour water all over the base, concentrating at the roots, and once it runs through the bottom I stop

That tree needs to go outside as soon as you are safe above freezing. They are temperate trees that needs cold dormancy every year for full health.

Your tree is inside and that’s what’s killing it.

Thanks. It's summer/near autumn now, average of 22 degrees or so. How can I keep the environment cold and get sun too?

If you are in summer, put it outside now. Choose a spot with dapples sun and/or morning sun, untill it recovers. It is really sensitive to direct light, coming out of the case we call our homes.

Treat against spider mites.

Make sure you water when the tree needs water. Every three days can be too often or too little.

Then wait.